{"title":"Pairs with the Impossible Gift Box","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"dad-bod-pack","title":"The Dad Bod Pack","description":"\u003ch2\u003eEvery year, the same gift.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA candle. A mug. A gift card in an envelope. He says thanks, it goes in a drawer, and nobody remembers it by New Year's.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eThis year, the whole room loses it.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe unwraps it, holds it up, and it takes a second. Then someone realizes what they're looking at. Then he puts it on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Dad Bod Pack is a real, working fanny pack with a beer belly printed on the front: belly button, skin tone and, depending on the one you pick, a truly unnecessary amount of hair. From a few feet away, nobody can tell. That is the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eIt's a joke. It's also a fanny pack.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe zipper runs along the top edge, so the belly stays intact from the front. Inside there's room for a phone, keys and a slim wallet. The strap adjusts and clicks shut with a quick-release buckle, so it stays put at a tailgate, a festival or a family photo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePick your gut\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHairy\u003c\/strong\u003e: the classic. Just enough to make people look twice.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExtra Hairy\u003c\/strong\u003e: darker, denser, deeply unnecessary.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSmooth\u003c\/strong\u003e: pale and clean-shaven. Somehow the most convincing one.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eBuying for a group?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 2-pack and 3-pack ship free. One for him, one for his brother, one for whoever's turn it is to host Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eOur promise\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf it arrives damaged, defective or not what you ordered, email us a photo at support@quirkmas.com within 30 days of delivery. We send a new one or refund you, your call, and you don't ship anything back. Changed your mind? Unused items can be returned within 30 days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Quirkmas","offers":[{"title":"Hairy \/ 1 pack","offer_id":53019670675741,"sku":"DBP-HAI-1","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":53019670708509,"sku":"DBP-HAI-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":53019670741277,"sku":"DBP-HAI-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ 1 pack","offer_id":53019670774045,"sku":"DBP-SMO-1","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":53019670806813,"sku":"DBP-SMO-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":53019670839581,"sku":"DBP-SMO-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ 1 pack","offer_id":53019670872349,"sku":"DBP-SIX-1","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":53019670905117,"sku":"DBP-SIX-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":53019670937885,"sku":"DBP-SIX-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Smooth \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":67810084192541,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HS-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":67810128167197,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HE-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth + Extra Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":67810128199965,"sku":"DBP-MIX-SE-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Hairy + Smooth \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128232733,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HHS-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128265501,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HHE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Smooth + Smooth \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128298269,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HSS-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Smooth + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128331037,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HSE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Extra Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128363805,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HEE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth + Smooth + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128396573,"sku":"DBP-MIX-SSE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth + Extra Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128429341,"sku":"DBP-MIX-SEE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1013\/0882\/5885\/files\/quirkmas-dad-bod-pack-4.jpg?v=1790901838"},{"product_id":"emotional-support-pickle-keychain","title":"Emotional Support Pickle Keychain","description":"\u003cp\u003eA tiny resin pickle on a keyring, packed on a card that promises: \u003cem\u003e\"I will always be around to let you know that you are a BIG DILL!!\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang it on your keys, a backpack zipper or a work badge. It weighs almost nothing and does a surprising amount of emotional heavy lifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade for:\u003c\/strong\u003e the friend who needs a pep talk but would never ask for one, the coworker with a lanyard full of keys, and any Secret Santa under $15.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComes on the card shown in the photos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSplit keyring with a short chain\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Quirkmas","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67678725636381,"sku":"QM-PICKLE-KEY","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1013\/0882\/5885\/files\/quirkmas-emotional-support-pickle-keychain-novo-creme-01.jpg?v=1791397473"},{"product_id":"saluting-beer-helmet","title":"The Saluting Beer Helmet","description":"\u003cp\u003eA tiny soldier's helmet with a saluting arm, on a ring that slides onto the neck of a beer bottle. The helmet sits on top, the arm holds the salute, and the beer looks like it just reported for duty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade for:\u003c\/strong\u003e dads, brothers, the guy who runs the grill, and any White Elephant where somebody brought a six-pack. He has everything except a beer with rank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlack or army green\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1, 2 or 3 in a pack, so the whole cooler can line up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Quirkmas","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ 1 helmet","offer_id":67678730649885,"sku":"QM-SALUTE-BK-1","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2 helmets","offer_id":67678730682653,"sku":"QM-SALUTE-BK-2","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3 helmets","offer_id":67678730715421,"sku":"QM-SALUTE-BK-3","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army Green \/ 1 helmet","offer_id":67678730748189,"sku":"QM-SALUTE-GR-1","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army Green \/ 2 helmets","offer_id":67678730780957,"sku":"QM-SALUTE-GR-2","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Army Green \/ 3 helmets","offer_id":67678730813725,"sku":"QM-SALUTE-GR-3","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1013\/0882\/5885\/files\/quirkmas-saluting-beer-helmet-main-v2.jpg?v=1792443562"},{"product_id":"party-pack","title":"The Party Pack: Dad Bod Pack + Impossible Gift Box","description":"\u003cp\u003eTwo gag gifts, one checkout. The \u003cstrong\u003eDad Bod Pack\u003c\/strong\u003e is a real fanny pack with a very realistic beer belly on the front. The \u003cstrong\u003eImpossible Gift Box\u003c\/strong\u003e is a little present with its ribbons screwed shut and the key hidden in the bow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade for:\u003c\/strong\u003e the person going to two White Elephant parties, the Secret Santa you also want to prank, and the dad-and-brother combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat you get\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 Dad Bod Pack: pick Hairy, Smooth or Extra Hairy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1 Impossible Gift Box: pick Red \u0026amp; Green, Red \u0026amp; Gold, Black \u0026amp; Gold or Blue \u0026amp; Gold\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e$49.99 together ($54.98 if you buy them one by one)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree US shipping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe two gifts ship in \u003cstrong\u003eseparate packages\u003c\/strong\u003e, each with its own tracking number. Order by December 1 for delivery by Christmas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGag gifts for grown-ups. The box has small parts, so keep it away from young kids and pets.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Quirkmas","offers":[{"title":"Hairy \/ Red \u0026 Green","offer_id":67717625544989,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy \/ Red \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625577757,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy \/ Black \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625610525,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy \/ Blue \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625643293,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ Red \u0026 Green","offer_id":67717625676061,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ Red \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625708829,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ Black \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625741597,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ Blue \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625774365,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ Red \u0026 Green","offer_id":67717625807133,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ Red \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625839901,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ Black \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625872669,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ Blue \u0026 Gold","offer_id":67717625905437,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1013\/0882\/5885\/files\/quirkmas-party-pack.jpg?v=1791557120"}],"url":"https:\/\/quirkmas.com\/collections\/pairs-with-gift-box.oembed","provider":"Quirkmas","version":"1.0","type":"link"}