{"product_id":"dad-bod-pack","title":"The Dad Bod Pack","description":"\u003ch2\u003eEvery year, the same gift.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA candle. A mug. A gift card in an envelope. He says thanks, it goes in a drawer, and nobody remembers it by New Year's.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eThis year, the whole room loses it.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe unwraps it, holds it up, and it takes a second. Then someone realizes what they're looking at. Then he puts it on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Dad Bod Pack is a real, working fanny pack with a beer belly printed on the front: belly button, skin tone and, depending on the one you pick, a truly unnecessary amount of hair. From a few feet away, nobody can tell. That is the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eIt's a joke. It's also a fanny pack.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe zipper runs along the top edge, so the belly stays intact from the front. Inside there's room for a phone, keys and a slim wallet. The strap adjusts and clicks shut with a quick-release buckle, so it stays put at a tailgate, a festival or a family photo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePick your gut\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHairy\u003c\/strong\u003e: the classic. Just enough to make people look twice.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExtra Hairy\u003c\/strong\u003e: darker, denser, deeply unnecessary.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSmooth\u003c\/strong\u003e: pale and clean-shaven. Somehow the most convincing one.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eBuying for a group?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 2-pack and 3-pack ship free. One for him, one for his brother, one for whoever's turn it is to host Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eOur promise\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf it arrives damaged, defective or not what you ordered, email us a photo at support@quirkmas.com within 30 days of delivery. We send a new one or refund you, your call, and you don't ship anything back. Changed your mind? Unused items can be returned within 30 days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Quirkmas","offers":[{"title":"Hairy \/ 1 pack","offer_id":53019670675741,"sku":"DBP-HAI-1","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":53019670708509,"sku":"DBP-HAI-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":53019670741277,"sku":"DBP-HAI-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ 1 pack","offer_id":53019670774045,"sku":"DBP-SMO-1","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":53019670806813,"sku":"DBP-SMO-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":53019670839581,"sku":"DBP-SMO-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ 1 pack","offer_id":53019670872349,"sku":"DBP-SIX-1","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":53019670905117,"sku":"DBP-SIX-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":53019670937885,"sku":"DBP-SIX-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Smooth \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":67810084192541,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HS-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":67810128167197,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HE-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth + Extra Hairy \/ 2 packs — save $6.99","offer_id":67810128199965,"sku":"DBP-MIX-SE-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Hairy + Smooth \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128232733,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HHS-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128265501,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HHE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Smooth + Smooth \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128298269,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HSS-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Smooth + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128331037,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HSE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hairy + Extra Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128363805,"sku":"DBP-MIX-HEE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth + Smooth + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128396573,"sku":"DBP-MIX-SSE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Smooth + Extra Hairy + Extra Hairy \/ 3 packs — save $14.98","offer_id":67810128429341,"sku":"DBP-MIX-SEE-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1013\/0882\/5885\/files\/quirkmas-dad-bod-pack-4.jpg?v=1790901838","url":"https:\/\/quirkmas.com\/products\/dad-bod-pack","provider":"Quirkmas","version":"1.0","type":"link"}